My parent followed me down to my house, I live about 10 min from my sisters. We live down a very curvy road, some asshole was riding my dad’s ass all the way down the hill. I had picked up pizza for everyone, to make for an easy evening. We had planned on playing cards, a game many us haven’t played in years. I was still cussing up a storm cause I was pissed. Trying to figure out what the hell I should do. I My youngest nephew won the game. Super excited to have beaten everyone. We were all pooped and headed to bed. We had a busy day ahead of us.

My parent went shopping in the morning, my husband and I follow suite. We had a few last minute things to pick up for the party. My husband and I finished up cleaning, but not before I yelled at him why is he just sitting around, and not helping. The my husband said “can you ask nicely and say please?” I was prepping stuff in the kitchen, he comes up to me , smacks my ass and says “ask nicely!” (He gave me a big hug, cause he knows I’m always on edge prepping for party’s) I then asked him nicely to finish. My sister walks in with her fam, I ask her kids to help me with prep and set up. I went to my room to freshen up because people started showing up.

My husband walks in and said “You need to go to the living room, someone walked in and your dad is crying”, Shit! I wasn’t ready yet. I walk out and a friend of my dad’s who had worked with for years was here. My sister knew her daughter and had sent her a last minute invite. I was surprised she showed up, she has just lost her husband a couple weeks prior. He was so surprised. The emotion that poured over his face made us so emotional. The rest of the family slowly starts to trickle in. Most of my cousins showed up, and were very happy to be there. I am the eldest of 17 grandchildren on my mom’s side, only a few didn’t show, because of work, or they live out of town. My brother did not show, which was fine, cause he probably would have gotten drunk and started shit. I was relieved, and that’s kind of sad.

My dad was beyond overwhelmed. When he opened his presents, he was even more overwhelmed. He realized how lucky he was, everyone got him a very thoughtful gift that beyond grateful for. We played music he loved, he danced a little and just had an overall great time. Even my mom had a good time even though we had a packed house, and there were people there she didn’t care for. 🙄🤐 Dad was physically and mentally exhausted, he went to bed a little be after 10pm. My husband and I stayed up for a couple more hours and tried to relax. Sleep came easy.

The next day was the “big game”. Parents were awake way earlier than us. My mom headed off to see my brother, and I made “breakfast” for my dad and husband. Dad just ate lasagna from the night before. My dad was seriously concerned because a big snowstorm was headed toward their house. They still had to pick up their dog from my sisters, and were worried they wouldn’t make it home because the tend to close the highways off. They didn’t want to get stuck on the side of the road. My sister and her boys showed up to watch the game. My mom came back pretty close to the end of the game. I made a beef stir fry, my dad and sister did not eat. They are so picky, your loss 😂. It was a super chill Sunday afternoon. My parents said their thank yous and goodnight.

My parents were long gone before I got up for work in the morning. I had put work out of mind since Friday night. I arrived at work, and all the emotions slapped me in the face, I was pissed! I replayed Friday afternoon over and over again, pissed off cause the owner was kicking it in Hawaii, not facing reality. So disrespectful for all the employees that were let go. So much anger flowing through me. The owner had handled the situation very poorly. Just bullshit cowardice. I had decided sure, lay me off! I’ll collect unemployment and enjoy the upcoming days in my garden. Fuck you!

I text my parents to see if the had made it home, they made it home about 15 minutes before snow started falling. My mom was at the grocery store stocking up, and dad was paying the weekly bills. My dad still complete overwhelmed with all the loved he received from the family. Me complete me an utterly exhausted. No motivation to do anything. Overall successful party my dad was beyond moved.

Side note: They had just moved out to AZ, and early on my dad called me a let me know he was sick (2015), and he had leukemia. We will also get into that at later date. My dad suffers from CLL a type of leukemia. Click here to find out more information abouth this https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/chronic-lymphocytic-leukemia/symptoms-causes/syc-20352428

I talk to my dad weekly. He had been having multiple blood transfusions, the chemo he was on for the leukemia was affecting the way his bone marrow functioned. (Bone marrow is a spongy substance found in the center of the bones. It manufactures bone marrow stem cells and other substances, which in turn produce blood cells. Each type of blood cell made by the bone marrow has an important job. Red blood cells carry oxygen to tissues in the body. ) He was not making red blood cells, and he was losing blood volume, doctors could not figure why he was losing blood so quickly after the transfusions. Transfusion after transfusion he still could not maintain a proper volume of blood in his body. His heart was struggling, he was always exhausted and cold, he didn’t have any energy, not even for a phone call.

He started ankles started swelling up, he said he was feeling kind of faint and pressure on his chest. He was having a heart attack. My mom called 911 and ambulance picked him up, it’s 45 min drive to the closest hospital, my dad died on the way. Paramedics were able to revive him. Doctors were concerned that he wouldn’t make it through surgery. My sister and I received the devastating phone call. I was sitting on my porch sobbing calling family to let them know what was going on. 7 hour drive with a millions thoughts running through your head sucks! Completely unsure of what was going to happen. My sister and her family literally dropped everything and headed to their house too. Doctors waited for his oncologist to update them on his condition. They performed heart surgery. The lack of blood volume was causing his heart to struggle while it pumped, no blood flow=no oxygen to your vital organs, no life. Doctors had found blockages in his heart they needed to fix. We waited for a few days for him to be released. We had spoke with him on the phone, and he was in good spirits, but he was stuck at the hospital. I had to go back to work, I had bills to pay, my sister stayed, to keep my mom calm.

The unknown, is what gave me the most anxiety, thoughts swirling through my head. Fuck! Have you ever wanted to run away? Run away from reality cause you don’t want to lose people, or face the fact that he will die one day. Run away cause you have lost some of the most important people in your life and can’t bear to deal with any more loss. Run away cause you don’t know how to feel more than anger and frustration! Run like Forrest Gump, no looking back. RUN!