https://www.health.com/condition/ptsd/generational-trauma

This is an article that describes my understanding generational trauma.

Please understand, my grammar and spelling may be terrible, but I am trying my best.

This is how I viewed my family dynamics growing up. My siblings have similar, but different stories.

Let me start of with my parents background. They just celebrated their 46th anniversary yesterday. My dad worked at a chain pharmacy as an assistant manager. My mom worked next door at a sandwich shop. My dad would go get lunch next door all the time. I do not have much information, nor did I want to ask about their dating escapades. They were married in Feb of 1976. I was born in 1977.

My dad hails from a small town on the South Dakota/Minnesota border. He was the youngest in a family of 10, very common in early/mid 1900’s. The eldest was a 1/2 sister. As the youngest of 8 he was very spoiled by his mom. He had a very rough upbringing, witnessing domestic violence, alcoholism, as well as hearing about sexual assault by his father.

My grandmother was born in the early 1900′ (1916) in a small town Minnesota. The town was made up of lots of German and Norwegian immigrants. My great-grandparents were both of Norwegian decent. 2nd Great-grandparents were born in Norway. This was a fiercely religious Lutheran family.

She was dating a young man in 1933/34, they intended on getting married. He loved her immensely. At this time my grandmother was in a “family way” She was pregnant, much to her parents dismay. The parents of her boyfriend did not care much for my grandmother, as she was just a daughter of a poor farmer. He was a proffesional, a dentist. His parents couln’t fathome his desire to be with her. They made him choose between her, and his baby to be or his own family. The pressure of making such a decision ripped him apart. He was unable to cope with the thought of living without the love of his life and thier baby. He could not choose and ended up taking his own life. His unfortuate actions left my grandmother to raise a “bastard child”. I cannot fathom how she felt. I still wonder how she felt, not knowing how she would raise this child. This was an unfortunate time in history where women were still looked down upon, where you were to stay home a rear child without question. She wasn’t allowed to have dreams and aspirations. You marry and raise children, that was extent of your life. Whether you wanted cildren or not. Traumatic incidents like having the love of your comitting suicide doesn’t leave you, it changes every part of your being. Well this is just the begining, The first of many harsh events the took place my family. I will continue to write about one a week. This is helping learn and work through my mental health issues.